1. Santorum: A term referring to the oozing remnants that may evacuate the anus after anal sex. Logically, it is composed of feces, lube and perhaps semen. Mmmm, frothy. The word was originally coined by sex columnist Dan Savage in 2003 because one of his readers wanted to memorialize the absurdity of Senator Rick Santorum’s discrimination against homosexuals. Santorum has been spreading ever since.
2. Donkey Punch: This frightening fisticuff is the mythical act of having sex doggy-style and at the point of climax, the partner on top surprises the one on bottom with a punch to the back of the neck. The blow is supposed to induce a spasm which causes, in addition to a sore neck, the anus or vagina to tighten up. It’s total and utter violent nonsense. The same or probably even a better effect could be obtained with tickling. Henceforth, let there be donkey-tickling!
3. Cleveland Steamer: It sounds like a football team, but it’s just more backdoor shenanigans. This one is definitely reserved for that special someone. One partner squats over the chest of the other and poops—simple, yet elegant. My best guess as to the etymology of such a fantastic fable is that the “steamy” poop comes from the “cleaving” of the ass-crack.
4. Pink Sock: Here’s another impossible yet imaginable tail-end torture. The story goes that as an object, e.g., penis, dildo, etc., is removed from the anus, part of the pink lining in the butt-hole is inverted, forming a sock over the phallus as it draws away. It’s a total defiance of anatomical reality.
5. Dirty Sanchez: And yet more poop. This odorific adventure begins with one partner putting a finger or what-have-you in the other’s anus, then smearing whatever brown delight is discovered beneath that partner’s nostrils. This creates a smelly moustache. Apparently, a dirty sanchez can be delivered "a la mode" when ejaculate is involved in the mix. You might recognize this popular term from South Park. Do not ask why such an act has been conceived; rather, take this opportunity to ponder the sheer inventiveness of our perverted brains.
