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Author Topic: joke spam  (Read 70989 times)

*MAFIA* Manowar

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #120 on: August 03, 2009, 06:12:01 AM »

Did you know:

That ‘race car’ spelled backward says, ‘race car’.

That ‘eat’ is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its own past tense, ‘ate’.

And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in ‘illegal immigrants’ and add just a few more letters, it spells out: "Fuck off and go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, kid-producing, violent, non-English speaking cocksuckers and take those hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-fucking, smelly diaper-head bastards with you’.

How weird is that?
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Ultimate embarrassment, running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose first.

whoops

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #121 on: August 03, 2009, 06:07:55 PM »

‘race car’ spelled backward says, ‘race car’.

Same thing with "Go hang a salami Im a lasanga hog"

Add some more letters to that and its "WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME"
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*MAFIA* BassSlappa

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #122 on: August 05, 2009, 04:54:59 PM »

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*MAFIA* Scooby

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #123 on: August 05, 2009, 05:01:50 PM »

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*MAFIA* BassSlappa

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #124 on: August 05, 2009, 09:37:14 PM »

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Dymdez

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #125 on: August 06, 2009, 08:08:48 AM »

omfg...I am scarred for life after seeing that.
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whoops

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #126 on: August 06, 2009, 08:14:12 AM »

omfg...I am scarred for life after seeing that.

I think we just found the new girl for your signature.
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*MAFIA* Manowar

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #127 on: August 06, 2009, 08:30:49 AM »



Likes : Sunset rides on the beach with just my horse.

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Dymdez

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #128 on: August 06, 2009, 02:03:02 PM »

Likes : Sunset rides on the beach with just my horse.


LMFAO,


Her Results: Eharmony.com
Matches Found: 0
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*MAFIA* Manowar

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #129 on: August 10, 2009, 08:20:07 AM »

The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name sailor?"
 
"John," the new seaman replied.
 
"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp nowdays, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Chief'. Do I make myself clear?"
 
"Aye, Aye Chief!"
 
"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
 
The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief."
 
"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ....."
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*MAFIA* BassSlappa

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #130 on: August 10, 2009, 09:54:22 PM »

This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves.

The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck left, and returned the next day. This time he asked, "Do you have any nails?" The clerk replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"

---------------------------------------------------                                     

A husband buys his wife a car for Christmas ...

"I don't like it" she says, "I want one that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds."

So he comes back with a  bathroom scale and says "stand on that you fat fucker!"
« Last Edit: August 10, 2009, 10:55:44 PM by *MAFIA* Sgt. Bob »
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whoops

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #131 on: August 14, 2009, 07:49:45 PM »

The School of MAFIA

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Hellraiser says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here and rub myself. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Hellraiser can open his mouth, Beatlejuice says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Beatlejuice , you can go home."

Hellraiser is mad that Beatlejuice answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Hellraiser can open his mouth, Roshan says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Roshan, you can go."

Hellraiser is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Hellraiser can open his mouth, Head Hunter says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Head Hunter , you may also leave."

Hellraiser is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Hellraiser says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Hellraiser: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"
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Head Hunter

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #132 on: August 15, 2009, 10:01:21 AM »

The School of MAFIA

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Hellraiser says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here and rub myself. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Hellraiser can open his mouth, Beatlejuice says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Beatlejuice , you can go home."

Hellraiser is mad that Beatlejuice answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Hellraiser can open his mouth, Roshan says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Roshan, you can go."

Hellraiser is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Hellraiser can open his mouth, Head Hunter says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Head Hunter , you may also leave."

Hellraiser is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Hellraiser says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Hellraiser: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"

Lol, nice Whoops.
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*MAFIA* Manowar

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #133 on: August 18, 2009, 07:22:48 AM »

To:
 
John Hinckley



From:
 
Mrs. Nancy Reagan
 
 My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a nonpartisan consensus of compassion and forgiveness throughout.
 
The Reagan family and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.
 
Best wishes, Nancy Reagan & Family
 
P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look into that.
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*MAFIA* Meeester

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #134 on: August 18, 2009, 02:22:13 PM »

I cant find where the sarcasm ends and where the racism begins haha
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