Men Are Just Happier People!
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness . If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache or a beard . . .
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Haveing been divorced once and working on the second I agree to alot of this, but there are things that just aren't true. For instance:
1. Yes our names stay the same, but we have to pay for the divorce and have to remember to put in the divorce decree that you want them to change thier name back.
2. Yes the garage is ours while we are married to them, but soon as you divorce it becomes some other mans.
3. Our underwear costs only $8.95 for a three pack but yet we pay to see them in those $30 pair of pink thongs, either for our wives/girlfriend, or at the strip bar.
4. Yes we won't have strap problems, but we get hardons, then get called to the blackboard in school with a bonner. HAHAHAH.
5. Oh, I forgot the wedding plans, yes they take care of them, but they still want your imput, and if you don't say what they want to here they get pissed. Also sometimes we have to pay for the wedding, and as I stated before the divorce.
6. We can play with toys all or lives yes, BUT SO CAN THEY AND THIER GOES OUR SEX LIVES!
7. We maybe able to "do" our nails with a pocket knife, but just like the panties, we pay for them to get thier nails done.
8. Yes the beard and mustache also, but there are some women that have that choice as well and we don't realize that until we marry them.
So like I said I agree with most, but you have to look at this list too. I think it would be easier to be GAY. But I am not, so sorry Misfit. You have to stay with Bone.
