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76
Spam / Medical exam!!!
« on: September 09, 2008, 07:39:38 AM »
Embarrassing Medical Exams
very funny!!
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby
in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed
that there were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,San Antonio,TX.
2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,'
I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,Seattle,WA.
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than
five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that
he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble
with one of his medications. 'Which one?' I asked. 'The patch, the
nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours, and now I'm running
out of places to put it!'
I had him quickly undress, and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions
include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk,VA.
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How
long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion, she
answered...'Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was
alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson,Corval lis,OR.
6. I was caring for a woman and asked, 'So, how's your breakfast this
morning?' 'It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem
to get used to the taste,' the patient replied. I then asked to see the
jelly, and the woman produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,Detroit,MI.
7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled
for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff
noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was
a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was
completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by RN, no name
AND FINALLY!!!...
8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed
when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had
unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady
upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing,
further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said,
'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied, 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I
was an Oscar Meyer Wiener..'
Doctor wouldn't submit his name (Can't blame him!)
very funny!!
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby
in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed
that there were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,San Antonio,TX.
2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,'
I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,Seattle,WA.
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than
five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that
he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble
with one of his medications. 'Which one?' I asked. 'The patch, the
nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours, and now I'm running
out of places to put it!'
I had him quickly undress, and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions
include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk,VA.
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How
long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion, she
answered...'Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was
alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson,Corval lis,OR.
6. I was caring for a woman and asked, 'So, how's your breakfast this
morning?' 'It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem
to get used to the taste,' the patient replied. I then asked to see the
jelly, and the woman produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,Detroit,MI.
7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled
for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff
noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was
a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was
completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by RN, no name
AND FINALLY!!!...
8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed
when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had
unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady
upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing,
further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said,
'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied, 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I
was an Oscar Meyer Wiener..'
Doctor wouldn't submit his name (Can't blame him!)
77
Spam / hellraiser's monkey sperm
« on: August 30, 2008, 09:58:56 AM »
Here is a picture of my unborn kids.
79
80
Help / PC SHUTS OFF
« on: August 15, 2008, 03:22:11 AM »
I just recently got a new computer as most of you know. I am having a problem however. For some reason, I will be in game and vent and the son of a bitch will just restart. I don't know where to even start in checking shit. So if anyone could help, I would appreciate it. Thanks.
82
Help / for all you who need help
« on: July 29, 2008, 06:50:31 AM »
I was looking for movies to help my son to start using the toliet and this is what I came across.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFVoLz88hiU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFVoLz88hiU
83
Spam / Who is hated more on Mafia forums
« on: July 27, 2008, 03:15:06 PM »
Let the voting begin noobs!!!!
85
Games / great game!!
« on: July 21, 2008, 07:11:36 PM »
Check this out. It is fucking sweet!!
http://www.adultswim.com/games/game/index.html?game=gigoloAssassin
http://www.adultswim.com/games/game/index.html?game=gigoloAssassin
89
Spam / This shit is funny as fuck.
« on: July 18, 2008, 04:15:32 AM »
Some chick wrote this to me. It is completely funny as hell. I will attach the pictures she sent.
Hi my friend, new friend
I' am so glad to see that you have decided to reply, I see it is very short letter.
It' s all right because you are astonished to get my letter.
I want you to know that I have only good intentions and I have not any secrets.
The thing is that I will work in your country for six months or so and
I would like to meet a nice man to fall in love or just be closest friends.
I dont want to live in Russia because I have not any chances here, it' s hardly possible to explain from first time but I want you to know my plans.
I will work in any shop, bar or restaurant the agency that i am going through will suggest me some locations. It will be my choice in the end as to what option to go for. So I will have a simple work till I improve my English. And I can choose any town of your area, agency will only help me to get a visa and all travel documents + some suggested placed to work in. My best friend last year met t he man from the USA when she worked there for three months, too. She had two jobs. From morning till 4 pm she worked in amusement park and after it she worked as a waitress in some bar till midnight. She was very tired of course but made very good money there.
It 's special programm for young people who wants to work abroad and I think it is the right way for me , I am lost here, and I think that I look pretty enough to find a better place .I want to repeat the same way,it is only my chance to meet a nice man.
I want to work in USA or in Europe or any nice country. I 'm full of plans and different dreams and I want to share my life with good man because I'm also full of love and tenderness, I know that I am not so beautiful like Hollywood Princess but I do hope to meet my Prince and I am sure he will be not be disappoined to meet me in the real life! This is why I am going to go through the same way. Well, I will close this letter and I do hope to get your reply. I will leave russia in two weeks or so ( I can't tell you everything exactly right now ) and I would like tobe sure that I have the man who waits for me there. I will work all day and I want to find a man to spend all free time
together to get to know each other better. if you have any interest to meet me
I will be more than happy to meet you too. I will tell you all details about me and my life if you like my pictures and want to meet me ! please send picture of you too!!!
Please don't write to me more on an mailbox , it is a mailbox of my friend I has created new personal mailbox , please write letters now only on this mailbox .
I will wait your next letter.
Kissssssss you , Liliya (it's my real name )
It sounds like it is just some bitcht that wants a green card, or is ugly and sent pictures of her sister. LOL. Fucking scamming bitches. I responded so once I get the new responce, I will post it. LOL, I have an international pen pal.
Hi my friend, new friend
I' am so glad to see that you have decided to reply, I see it is very short letter.
It' s all right because you are astonished to get my letter.
I want you to know that I have only good intentions and I have not any secrets.
The thing is that I will work in your country for six months or so and
I would like to meet a nice man to fall in love or just be closest friends.
I dont want to live in Russia because I have not any chances here, it' s hardly possible to explain from first time but I want you to know my plans.
I will work in any shop, bar or restaurant the agency that i am going through will suggest me some locations. It will be my choice in the end as to what option to go for. So I will have a simple work till I improve my English. And I can choose any town of your area, agency will only help me to get a visa and all travel documents + some suggested placed to work in. My best friend last year met t he man from the USA when she worked there for three months, too. She had two jobs. From morning till 4 pm she worked in amusement park and after it she worked as a waitress in some bar till midnight. She was very tired of course but made very good money there.
It 's special programm for young people who wants to work abroad and I think it is the right way for me , I am lost here, and I think that I look pretty enough to find a better place .I want to repeat the same way,it is only my chance to meet a nice man.
I want to work in USA or in Europe or any nice country. I 'm full of plans and different dreams and I want to share my life with good man because I'm also full of love and tenderness, I know that I am not so beautiful like Hollywood Princess but I do hope to meet my Prince and I am sure he will be not be disappoined to meet me in the real life! This is why I am going to go through the same way. Well, I will close this letter and I do hope to get your reply. I will leave russia in two weeks or so ( I can't tell you everything exactly right now ) and I would like tobe sure that I have the man who waits for me there. I will work all day and I want to find a man to spend all free time
together to get to know each other better. if you have any interest to meet me
I will be more than happy to meet you too. I will tell you all details about me and my life if you like my pictures and want to meet me ! please send picture of you too!!!
Please don't write to me more on an mailbox , it is a mailbox of my friend I has created new personal mailbox , please write letters now only on this mailbox .
I will wait your next letter.
Kissssssss you , Liliya (it's my real name )
It sounds like it is just some bitcht that wants a green card, or is ugly and sent pictures of her sister. LOL. Fucking scamming bitches. I responded so once I get the new responce, I will post it. LOL, I have an international pen pal.
90
News / TO EVERYONE THAT COMES ON THE FORUMS
« on: July 16, 2008, 06:42:57 AM »
As you can see we are having some difficulties with the site. We just ask that you respect the site, and us and not do anything against what rules have been set down. Everything will be back to normal soon. Thank you in advance.