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Author Topic: joke spam  (Read 70277 times)

EaSyCoMpAnY

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #225 on: April 27, 2010, 01:15:37 PM »

On his death bed, Earl Woods gave son Tiger the following advice:


"Focus on golf. Fuck everything else."
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Irish Bomber

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #226 on: April 27, 2010, 01:25:26 PM »

What's the new and politically correct name for Lesbian?

Vagitarian
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*MAFIA* Meeester

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #228 on: April 27, 2010, 02:45:15 PM »

On his death bed, Earl Woods gave son Tiger the following advice:


"Focus on golf. Fuck everything else."


haha nice
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Thunder

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #229 on: April 27, 2010, 04:40:39 PM »

What's the new and politically correct name for Lesbian?

Vagitarian

Like we all haven't heard that one before...
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Irish Bomber

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #230 on: April 28, 2010, 06:05:01 AM »

There were two guys (Thunder & his male lover) taking a shower. They were playing with each other and kissing. Then somebody knocked on the door, so one of the guys was like I'm going to answer the door so don't finish without me. So he went to go answer the door when he came their was cum all over the walls, curtains, everywhere. The guy says to Thunder I told you not to finish without me.
Thunder says I didn't.....I FARTED!!!!!!!
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*MAFIA* Manowar

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #231 on: April 28, 2010, 06:47:52 AM »

You're An EXTREME Redneck When..... 

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. 

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.. 

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean. 

6. Someone in your family died right after saying 'Hey, guys, watch this'. 

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.   

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.   

9. Your junior prom offered day care. 

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines'. 

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. 

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. 

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
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Ultimate embarrassment, running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose first.

Mean Green

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #232 on: April 28, 2010, 07:47:38 AM »

"There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."
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Irish Bomber

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #233 on: April 28, 2010, 07:55:24 AM »

"There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."

Is this suppose to be a joke?  It's a great movie.
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Mean Green

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #234 on: April 28, 2010, 07:59:28 AM »

Is this suppose to be a joke?  It's a great movie.

Actually, its a joke inside a declarative statement.  ;D
« Last Edit: April 29, 2010, 07:19:06 AM by *MAFIA* Mean Green »
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Thunder

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #235 on: April 28, 2010, 03:12:17 PM »

...it's a declarative statement.

Just like "Irish Bomber is a faggot".
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Mean Green

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #236 on: April 28, 2010, 03:21:51 PM »

Just like "Irish Bomber is a faggot".

somewhat harsh, dont you think?
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*MAFIA* BassSlappa

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #237 on: April 28, 2010, 04:37:06 PM »

this is a joke spam topic mean green, take your statements elsewhere. you too thunder.
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Irish Bomber

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #238 on: April 29, 2010, 07:11:49 AM »

Just like "Irish Bomber is a faggot".

Awwww Thunder... did you get your poor wittle feelings hurt..... lmao!


A man goes to his doctor for an annual check up.

The doctor says "I'll need you to come back tomorrow with a urine sample, a poo sample and a sperm sample".

The man replies "Right so doctor, I'll bring'em by tomorrow"

When he gets home his wife askes "Well what did he say ?"

The man replies "He needs me to bring in a pair of your underwear."
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*MAFIA* Manowar

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #239 on: May 03, 2010, 06:38:28 AM »

I PLAY GOLF ON FRIDAYS….

Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband Bob watched with a raised eyebrow!
Eileen shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.

The therapist turned to Bob and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week.. Can you do this?'

Bob thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.
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