*MAFIA* Forums
Miscellaneous => Spam => Topic started by: *MAFIA* Scooby on April 21, 2010, 02:55:02 PM
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Add a MAXIMUM of 5 words to continue the sentence. Use punctuation and start a new sentence if it goes on for too long. Also, make sure there are at least 5 replies after your post before you reply again. Do not quote anyone and cross out their mad lib or you will be penalized.
(I'll start)
Once upon a time,
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There
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were
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4.9
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4.9
billion Jewish
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billion Jewish
rabbis
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(who) were
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jousting
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on
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Brittany & Vicki.
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Once they
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found
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misfit
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they took
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his virginity
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forcefully
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while on
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anabolic-steroids.
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Next,
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Bonehead's goat
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ingested
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some
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delicious, brown
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Botulinum pills
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that
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juiced up
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fat tubs
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from it's
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flacid
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, gangrened
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CAWK
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, which dwells
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outside. Later,
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Angel of
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heaven
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was complimenting
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Hellraiser's penis (Circumcised and HPV free)
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because
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she
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Killed a
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bottle of whisky
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with the gaping maw known as her...
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with the gaping maw known as her...
mouth & rear.
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Bf 1943 is
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nothing like
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your mums
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caravan
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with
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piles of
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used tissue's
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that shank
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angel
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in the
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virtual world.
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So, he
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got on
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and stole
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popsicles
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twice
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but was
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made a
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basement dweller
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durring
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a
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quick
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enema
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over your
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face. Suddenly,
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A backstabbing power hungry Hindu fag,
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likes some
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anal lube
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when practicing
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healthy eating
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when naked.
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But for the time being
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Brittany drove
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to the
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lippo clinic
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to sodomize
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a hampster
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with a
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spoon
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she also
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likes gerbils.
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On Tuesday,
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while driving
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Tim_@916 was
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slightly faded.
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He had always known that
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hellraiser
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was black, but
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only from the waiste up
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and Japanese below.
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He decided
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to kill
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that afrojap
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with his
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with his
tiny little pecker
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aka rectum wrecker.
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aka rectum wrecker.
aka "just kidding, its tiny."
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Continuing on,
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*MAFIA* OWNED
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itself when
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drama started
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by two
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women
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impersonators
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that always
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knew that
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they were
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nasty whores
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pick cotton
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while squatting
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over each
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others mouths
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while they
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gleefully gargle
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then spat
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into the orifice owned by
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Beatlejuice
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and his boyfriends.
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On another note,
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the band, Rush
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is possibly the worst band ever,
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and yet
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they still
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suck balls.
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While at
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An Amish fair
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a goat
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on XanaX
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shat on
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the curb
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where malbert
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was being
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tarred and feathered
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to show
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his massive
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genital wart
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(s) that he contracted from
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his secret trips to
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with Mean Green
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('s) friend Chesney
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, who is Bob's mom. This is how Bob
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met up with
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Kevin and Kyle
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Kevin and Kyle Smith
and transported drugs from San Antonio
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using the seedy underbelly of the Tijuana drug trade route, but this ultimately proved unsuccessful because
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STONE COLD SAID SO
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.
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Stone Cold then proceeded to
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rape the shit out of
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beetlejuice's holly ass
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all the while...
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mean green masturbates
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but that proved to be quite disastrous because
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for one, it is unnecessary
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when you have at your disposal a hunk of a man named
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Black and Decker.
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cave maker
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, AKA Hellraiser's tuna can dick,
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which Sgt Bob has a huge interest in.
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The Pope
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died.
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*MAFIA*
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owns all
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MAH BITCHES!
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The signal light
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stopped
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the xterra as the officer approached
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lookin lika fool
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in his
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black hat but with his pants on the ground
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and hellraiser close behind
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nut to butt
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hut hut
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you're fukin retarded.
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The officer spotted the contraband
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and pulled out
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in pursuit of the offender
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dressed as a
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Goat on XanaX
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Goat on XanaX
a homosexual transvestite
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a homosexual transvestite
LOL...that He "met" in Atlanta in a Hotel hottub at an IRS convention
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The Mafian Mad Lib so far:
Once upon a time, there were 4.9 billion Jewish Rabbis who were jousting on Brittany and Vicki. Once they found Misfit, they took his virginity forcefully while on anabolic-steroids. Next, Bonehead's goat ingested some delicious, brown Botulinum pills that juiced up fat tubs from its flacid, gangrened CAWK which dwells outside. Later, Angel of Heaven was complimenting Hellraiser's penis (Circumcised and HPV free,) because she killed a bottle of whisky with the gaping maw known as her mouth and rear. Bf1943 is nothing like your mum's caravan with piles of used tissues that shank Angel in the virtual world. So, he got on and stole popsicles twice, but he was made a basement dweller during a quick enema over your face. Suddenly, a back-stabbing power-hungry Hindu fag likes some anal lube when practicing healthy eating when naked, but for the time being, Brittany drove to the lippo clinic to sodomize a hampster with a spoon. She also likes gerbils. On tuesday while driving, Tim_@916 was slightly faded. He had always known that Hellraiser was black, but only from the waist up and Japanese below. He decided to kill that afro jap with his tiny little pecker, aka rectum wrecker, aka "just kidding it's tiny." Continuing on, *MAFIA* OWNED itself when drama started by two women impersonators that always knew that they were nasty whores who pick cotton while squatting over eachothers mouths while they gleefuly gargle then spat into the orifices owned by Beatlejuice and his boyfriends. On another note, the band, Rush, is possibly the worst band ever, and yet they still suck balls. While at an omish fair, a goat on Xanax shat on the curb where Malbert was being tarred and feathered to show his massive genital warts that he contracted from his secret trips with Mean Green's friend Chesney, who is Bob's mom. This is how Bob met up with Kevin and Kyle and transported drugs from San Antonio using the seedy underbelly of the Tijuana drug trade route, but this ultimately proved unsuccessful because STONE COLD SAID SO. Stone Cold then proceded to rape the shit ouf of Beatlejuice's holy ass all the while Mean Green masturbates, but that proved to be quite disastrous because for one, it is unnecessary when you have at your disposal a hunk of a man named Black and Decker. Cave Maker, AKA Hellraiser's tuna can dick, which Sgt Bob has a huge interest in. The Pope died. *MAFIA* owns all MAH BITCHES! The signal light stopped the xterra as the officer approached lookin' like a food in his black hat but with his pants on the ground and Hellraise close behind nut to butt hut hut you're fucking retarded. The officer spotted the contraband and pulled out in pursuit of the offender dressed as a goat on XanaX
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So anyway, down in Balthazar's basement,
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littered with used Popsicle sticks
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were the
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purple speckled
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remains of a what looked to be a
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used body
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that had white stuff coming out of
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ventilation shaft.
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The shaft
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of the gun
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in the dead bodies ass
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was loaded with
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Astroglide®
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and man fat
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. The forehead
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was rotted
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from too much
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self-mutilation
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From negro cox
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that maggot
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was sucking very hard.
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Doctors determined
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Mean Green is the cause of
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the economy recovering
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because she gave her money to
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Jeremy, and know claims she was sc........
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Jeremy, and know claims she was sc........
now...claims she was Scandalum magnatum for a book
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of dirty sex
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, also mean green started to learn the art of
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zumba, a latin dance exercise class
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zumba, a latin dance exercise class
, also mean green started to learn the art of
giving too much information
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giving too much information
for all those who are interested in Zumba
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(this is not part of the mad libs thread, just a reminder...)
Also, make sure there are AT LEAST 2 replies after your post before you reply again.
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. Somehow
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Kevin, Kyle and Jim WATSON
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all died.
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HPV
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infected
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killed them all. When finished, the robot then turned on
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a vibrator
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to aid mean greens constant craving for the .....
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the perfect french tip manicure.
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Jeremy then proceeded to insert his French "tip" in
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to the garbage disposal
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. That made a huge mess, so Mean Green helped by
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doing his taxes naked
pic removed for graphic content
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while singing the song
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"Growing Pains Theme Song"
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then proceeded to
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do the Electric Glide
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while humping
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a 3 legged donkey
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but the donkey shouted, "
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no more!
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Jeremy then finished the donkey off in his
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CPA's ass
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but the CPA protested so he used the goat instead.
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The goat then killed it's self in shame
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when everyone in Vent
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watched the video.
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of Misfit trying to get it up but he
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couldn't because he was completely repulsed by
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his HPV infected dick!
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Chapter two begins
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when the viagra
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was taken up the
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rear of hellraiser
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but not before mean green's intern
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an Olympic feltcher
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fetched the hairy
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whiskers
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of her legs
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but rumor has it, they (they being mgs legs) once were sent to satan's ass but he refused to be apart of all the drama
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. So in the end, Satan ended up
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going down
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to the
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well
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of Whoop's
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sex den to
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be sodomized by
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Kyle & Kevin Watson.
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But before they got sodomized they
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kyle & kevin circle jerked
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into each other's
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cum bucket of thier mother's ass
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while
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licking each others
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ears. That night, a sound
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came from the belly of
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victor shirky, (from all the .......)
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attacks on one of my admins will stop or this thread is gone, and maybe even yourself...
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(bone it is a 5 word rule)
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(bone it is a 5 word rule)
LMAO +Rep for u m8
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:) posting rights removed. you will show the founder respect or i can remove you :)
and easy you can follow :)
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:) posting rights removed. you will show the founder respect or i can remove you :)
and easy you can follow :)
owned.
pic removed for graphic content
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So Dempy bent over barrel
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starting crying
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because of the horrid admin abuse
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brought great lulz
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(Let's try to make this one make sense)
So after Bone raped Dempy,
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a horse flew through the room
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but Bone raped and abused that too, so then
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hes going to rape me as well lol
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without lube, in the
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ass, it was a joke, but he chocked on my hot man fluid.
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The hot man fluid then burned through Dempy's throat as he swallowed and
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gargled it with a smile
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.While giving bonehead a reach
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into his colon
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he found a
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Shiny gold nugget, that he picked up in Gatlinburg while...
(Picture for reference)
(http://www.mafiaowns.com/mfs/ih/Early.png)
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watching the squid billies
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and along came an
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upset admin
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waiving the ban-hammer at
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individual known as
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Tits McGee
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. "Show me that smile!" cried
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the wolf
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in sheep's wool.
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When "Slick-Ric" opened the bag,
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he found
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a fag, ready and willing
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to put it in is
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ass, while cockraiser...
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Masturbated a pigmy with his
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HPV infected
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tuna can pee pee
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Then all of the sudden
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A Jewish Hindu flying monkey
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with a HPV infected
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fingers,he started to
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throw his monkey shit
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at rich people
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and piss on
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the retarded
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rich people
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who have an HPV infected
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toe, shoved up the bum
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who lived in the park
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on a bench with an HPV infected
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dog
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named kyle
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a cow bell
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whose hobby is to use
Then:
a cow bell
Next!
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counterrevolut ionaries
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and redneck snipers disguised as whales
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shooting wetbacks
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into Lake Victoria
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with a nigger under each arm
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went into the dinning room to find
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fried cat surprise in sperm
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. Not thinking, he then decided to actually
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see a doctor for his condition
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In came a hot nurse
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named
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Slutty McFunnbags
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, who surprisingly had a
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popsicle as a
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butt plug.
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But then
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an unwanted Hindu named Roshan who likes to suck DICK
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and lick
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a popsicle
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shoved his tiny
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tuna can
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purple spotted tampon flossing micro penis
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into the
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raw end of
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a fairy blunt
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surgically correct HPV infected
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tuna can microbes
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of his
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tiny goobie
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. Scooby then disappeared for 9 days to
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A Hermaphrodite Hideaway for midgits
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,but then
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a fat, naked homosexual
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who had sex with his girl in Buda,
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fucked him with a rake so hard that
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it broke off in his
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piss hole
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and he got
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crotch termites
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and aids
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.
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One month later
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"next fucker that deletes my post, gets deleted......"
i said!
..
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Who the fuck is deleteing posts? i said!!!
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One month later
the inevitable came to fruition when...
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the mad libs thread died.
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God rest it's soul.
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but then, much like the Phoenix; it rose from the ashes from whence it came and proceeded to....
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ban Misfit and remove posting rights from MG while he
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Give eveyone a STD
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while gasping at the seemingly impossible number of typos made by europeans in comparison to the number of typos made by americans.
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Therefore, Americans can classify Europeans as
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those who are bad at fighting wars.
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those who are bad at fighting wars.
but not as bad as the rest of the world.
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Suddenly out of the shadow's came a black white supremacists whom was conflicted daily about killing himself. :suicide:
The only thing that kept him going was...
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titties and beer.
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But when those ran out he switched to...
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pocket pussies.
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Much like Hellraiser. But then Hellraiser found out and
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vehemently disagreed with the assessment so he decided to
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go out and buy a
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donkey.
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And then balth had,
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a mental picture of the time..
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he munged a mutant orphan
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while listening to "Higher Love" sung by
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Ricardo after is Dirty Deeds failed miserably
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Ricardo after is Dirty Deeds failed miserably
due to his inability to
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due to his inability to
stop his menstrual cycle
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stop his menstrual cycle
which ultimately made him a
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which ultimately made him a
pondering fool, questioning the very reason why his feeble existence has been left unchecked for as long as a period as it has. Then he suddenly realizes that...
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maybe hermaphrodite anonymous might help him understand...
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the religion of
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the religion of
anal leakage.
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anal leakage.
which is an offshoot of the the FLDS (Fundamentalist Latter-Day Saint) movement. But soon after being initiated as an elder and receiving his mission call he...
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began experimenting with magnets
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began experimenting with magnets
began experimenting with magnets.
Fuckin magnets, how do they work?
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Fuckin magnets, how do they work?
Is an interesting question to ask when the scent of your genitals bear a striking resemblance to that of...
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anal leakage.
until his Dad showed him
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until his Dad showed him
the Book of Mormon
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the Book of Mormon
which states to go to work with
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which states to go to work with
countless numbers of troubled souls with low IQ's reaching for deeper meaning and somebody to manipulate them... all the while the proprietors of Scientology argue that...
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countless numbers of troubled souls with low IQ's reaching for deeper meaning and somebody to manipulate them... all the while the proprietors of Scientology argue that...
people are immortal beings who have forgotten their true nature and the practice of psychiatry is destructive and abusive and must be abolished.
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That night after a long phone call, he told himself, "Don't fall into her trap," but then
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That night after a long phone call, he told himself, "Don't fall into her trap," but then
he mistakenly watched Star Wars and saw that trap and said it couldn't be any worse than that, so
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He proceeded to copy everything and call it original. Little did he know that....
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He proceeded to copy everything and call it original. Little did he know that....
There was a 13 year old boy waiting for him in the shadows, plotting, conniving, and waiting for the right moment to strike using his multi-million dollar helicopter... But then suddenly as of out of nowhere he...
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There was a 13 year old boy waiting for him in the shadows, plotting, conniving, and waiting for the right moment to strike using his multi-million dollar helicopter... But then suddenly as of out of nowhere he...
started screaming and woke his mother up, who came into his room and
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started screaming and woke his mother up, who came into his room and
said what the hell are you doing to yourself? I was dreaming I was flying a helicopter and the Cyclic stick wouldn't respond to my yanking! Then Mom said,
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said what the hell are you doing to yourself? I was dreaming I was flying a helicopter and the Cyclic stick wouldn't respond to my yanking! Then Mom said,
you have aids!!!! However,
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you have aids!!!! However,
The syringes little Jack used to shoot up his heroin were clean. He asked the pharmacist and he said:
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I'm pretty sure this is not how mad libs is played.
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I'm pretty sure this is not how mad libs is played.
The pharmacist then replied,
-
The pharmacist then replied,
"we'll need a urine sample, you may proceed to pee in my mouth."
To which little Jack replied:
-
"we'll need a urine sample, you may proceed to pee in my mouth."
To which little Jack replied:
I had asparagus for dinner, the aroma and taste of my urine will not be pleasant.
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Two weeks passed
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Two weeks passed
and still had AIDS!!!!!
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and still had AIDS!!!!!
So with nothing to live for he decided to join the Air Force and become a Navy Seal. While there he modified an F-22 into a F-35 and single handily won WW3 all before his mom told him it was bed time because...
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So with nothing to live for he decided to join the Air Force and become a Navy Seal. While there he modified an F-22 into a F-35 and single handily won WW3 all before his mom told him it was bed time because...
Bethany was exhausted from the nights steamy romp, so he retired to his pokemon decorated sleeping quarters and dreamt of...
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Bethany was exhausted from the nights steamy romp, so he retired to his pokemon decorated sleeping quarters and dreamt of...
dropping a nuke that he has under his bed on someone that pissed him off that he met online...
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dropping a nuke that he has under his bed on someone that pissed him off that he met online...
But it was all for not, for you see...
He had no nuke, he was not a navy seal, nor did he have an F-35. He was a 13 year old boy living in his parents house, scared, alone, and not understanding why the world seemed to be against him. He struggled everyday to try to be like, "the other children", but it was a fools errand. His awkward ramblings, his affinity for lies, and his grotesque appearance would never allow him the experience of any meaningful relations with anyone except the clinically insane, and even then... it was a stretch.
He woke up, after crying himself to sleep to find the world had not changed, he had not changed, the only difference from one day to the next was he was a day older and a day closer to his inevitable suicide.
He strolled into the bathroom taking down the front of his pokemon pajamas's that his mother had bought him for his birthday rather than the Springfield 1911 than he, "Really wanted because vampire ninja's from the planet colon were coming and he needed to defend the human race" to reveal only that yes, his penis was still the size of a half eaten and shriveled circus peanut. After re-leaving himself of the Hawaiian punch that was drunk earlier that night; mind you it wasn't much because the majority of it was left in bed after urinating on himself during his sleep, he strolled back into his room to sit down at his only semblance of what he considered to be a tolerable reality, the computer.
He fired up Internet Explorer (ha!), and navigated to...
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wowomg.com.
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only to find that his lusts had been explored. He ejaculated a drop of urine on his lap and said:
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I'm really sure this is not how we play mad libs.
-
His urine then said back to him,
-
Add a MAXIMUM of 5 words to continue the sentence. Use punctuation and start a new sentence if it goes on for too long. Also, make sure there are at least 5 replies after your post before you reply again. Do not quote anyone and cross out their mad lib or you will be penalized.
Please continue, niggers.
-
It all started when...
-
We didn't play Mad Libs right.
-
We didn't play Mad Libs right.
but we continued anyway, because this is no rules.
-
The sky was
-
Backer than an nigger then...
-
The sky was
a faint orange as the sun set in the west. And as I watched the clouds roll by, I recalled the days of my youth. Admittedly, I do not recall very much of this preschool life. I had, for a while, two brothers to play with, and then along came a third one. I guess we did most of those things that other small boys do. We got into just as much mischief as most. We were often made to go stand in the corner until we said we were sorry (spankings were out). I do remember that I would swipe a pickle from the pickle-jar and go to the stairs, and sitting on the bottom step enjoy it to the full. Most times, I enjoyed being alone, planning all sorts of great things to do when I grew up.I remember, we had a cousin, the only child of Pa's brother, very much a lady sort of girl. She was fun to play with. Then there were several other young girls, who fascinated my childish mind. One of the highlights, however, was a Birthday Party arranged for my fifth birthday. Several neighbour children, including our cousin Velda, were there. I guess we did the usual things -- played tag, hide-and-seek, and just ran around. The highlight was the Mama-made cake and Ice Cream. Well, those boys and girls, represented our circle of playmates at that time. Usually, however, we played together by ourselves. We all lived a simple life. Simple things amused and delighted us. Everyday things were our playthings. One little game we often played was Horse and Driver. One of us would play horse while another would be the driver. The horse may be hitched to our play wagon, with the other, the driver, riding with reins in hand. This way we learned, at an early age, something about horses and what made them go.We did not need a sandbox, as such, to play in. The whole farm, especially the gravel in the laneway, and the good earth under the swing, hung from a limb of an old apple tree on our lawn, was our sand box. One of the most exciting things was the cable car we had travelling from a high-up limb on an apple tree to a point low down on a pear tree. This consisted of a long rope borrowed from the barn, a wooden rope pulley, another short piece of rope and the swing-board. The motive power was furnished by any available adult, male or female. Using a long pole, this person would push us up to the top of the apple tree and then, releasing the pole, we would go -- w h e e -- all the way to the pear tree.Then there were Nature's Building Blocks. I refer to the common Burdock bur, still in the growing stage. We would use these to build all sorts of things, much like Leggo. A favourite toy to build, using lots of imagination and sticky burs, was an automobile. The headlights would be made from the fully-opened bur showing the red flower. Then there were plenty of Milkweed plants in the Pig Yard. These plants yielded seed pods that made very interesting creatures, from dolls to the man driving the car. Yes, we had our own version of "cops and robbers". We used pea-shooters made from elderberry cane, which happens to be hollow. Using a pocket knife and a steel corset spring for a trigger, as well as the propellant, we fashioned a harmless little device that would shoot a small pea quite some distance. Of course, we were cautioned not to point it at anyone.When our little sister came along and was old enough, we allowed her to join in on our play. She soon became quite a beautiful, blond, auburn, curly-haired little sister. She learned most all of the farm chores, as well as the household tricks from her Ma.Ours being what we called a Mixed Farm, among other things we kept Free-Range chickens. This meant the chickens would be penned up all winter and left to run free, all over the place, from Spring until Fall. Hens, being independent creatures, preferred to choose their own nesting places, disregarding the fancy orange-crate nests we provided for them. My little sister and I would enjoy hunting the eggs. The nests could be anywhere within imagination. We not only had first to look in these nests we provided for them in the hen-house, then around the strawstack, in the hay mow, in the horse mangers -- well, all sorts of places. Sometimes we would miss one or two nests. When we did eventually find this hidden nest, some of the eggs had gotten stale or rotten. These, of course, would be a total loss. It was rather important to locate these stray nests because every egg meant several cents. Cents added into dollars. Eggs were part of our cash crop, as well as part of our menu for breakfasts.Alt hough most youngsters have lots of imagination, I thought that I had more than anyone else. I loved machinery and dreamed one day of being a great inventor. My favourite place to be was in the work shop. This is where you would find me. The sky turned darker as I brought to mind further memories...The next phase in my life began the Easter following my birthday party, just before I was six years old. To be precise, the year was 1915. Yes, I was allowed to go to school. The three of us tow-haired little boys started off hand in hand, I in the middle. We did not have far to go. The school was located at the corner of our pasture field. We just had to skip through the fields, wade through or jump over a little stream, crawl through an old wire fence, cross the Cutler Sideroad and there we were, at school. Of course, sometimes the stream would be too wide, following a heavy summer shower or Spring freshet. At such times, we were required to find our way around by the road.Our school was a white wooden frame building, complete with a Belfry and the anteroom. At the front, on the right hand side, stood the proverbial flagpole, flying the Union Jack. Beside the flagpole was a dug well serviced by an old wooden Pump. The playground equipment consisted of a swing and a double teeter, both made by some members of the school section. Placed discreetly behind the building were the two red outhouses, clearly labeled "Boys" and "Girls". The school grounds was enclosed by a board fence and a row of trees.Starting school this time of year did give me a chance to get acquainted with the other boys and girls and to feel what it is like, going to school. After about a month and a half, Summer vacation would start and we would all be free to enjoy a farm vacation.Durin g our "farm Vacation", we learned to work as well as to play. There were many things that we could work at and call play. Going to pasture in the early evening to fetch the cattle was one of those play jobs. I would usually be accompanied by our dog, Friskie. Friskie was considered to be a good cattle dog, in as much as he enjoyed chasing both cows and horses. As a matter of fact, he would chase anything that would run. I enjoyed the freedom of my bare feet, and would sometimes find wild strawberries on the way to divert my attention. There was a little creek meandering across our meadow where the cows would stop to grab a drink and I would wade into for fun.Another fun thing for me, when I felt like it, was when it was announced in a flurry of excitement, "Oh my, the cows are in the corn." This was, as I say, fun for me to run and drive them out. However, this meant that some fence needed fixing. This was another job for someone to do. This was not fun for Mama, or Papa, who had the responsibility of fixing the broken fence. This did happen quite frequently, because none of our fences were very good.Another fun thing, then, was mowing the lawn grass with a push-type lawnmower. After we had finished mowing, we had to rake the green cuttings into a pile. These green cuttings made an excellent smudge fire to repel the mosquitoes on some summer evening when we sat out of doors. We often sat out of doors in the summer. It was always so hot indoors.I enjoyed these summer evenings when I could just sit and listen to the evening creatures talking to each other. These were some of the times when I received some of those great ideas about things I would do later on. These were the times when we, as a family, would discuss the events of the day and plan for the morrow -- as much as we could. Then we would go to bed, more or less refreshed.My vacation also consisted of those many farm chores, like hoeing the corn or the beans; also like cleaning out the ever-dirty stables and putting down new straw. Vacation took in "Haying", "Harvesting", and all those jobs in the hot sun. I will tell about these events in another chapter. Hellraiser is a
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Hellraiser is a
tar baby
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a faint orange as the sun set in the west. And as I watched the clouds roll by, I recalled the days of my youth. Admittedly, I do not recall very much of this preschool life. I had, for a while, two brothers to play with, and then along came a third one. I guess we did most of those things that other small boys do. We got into just as much mischief as most. We were often made to go stand in the corner until we said we were sorry (spankings were out). I do remember that I would swipe a pickle from the pickle-jar and go to the stairs, and sitting on the bottom step enjoy it to the full. Most times, I enjoyed being alone, planning all sorts of great things to do when I grew up.I remember, we had a cousin, the only child of Pa's brother, very much a lady sort of girl. She was fun to play with. Then there were several other young girls, who fascinated my childish mind. One of the highlights, however, was a Birthday Party arranged for my fifth birthday. Several neighbour children, including our cousin Velda, were there. I guess we did the usual things -- played tag, hide-and-seek, and just ran around. The highlight was the Mama-made cake and Ice Cream. Well, those boys and girls, represented our circle of playmates at that time. Usually, however, we played together by ourselves. We all lived a simple life. Simple things amused and delighted us. Everyday things were our playthings. One little game we often played was Horse and Driver. One of us would play horse while another would be the driver. The horse may be hitched to our play wagon, with the other, the driver, riding with reins in hand. This way we learned, at an early age, something about horses and what made them go.We did not need a sandbox, as such, to play in. The whole farm, especially the gravel in the laneway, and the good earth under the swing, hung from a limb of an old apple tree on our lawn, was our sand box. One of the most exciting things was the cable car we had travelling from a high-up limb on an apple tree to a point low down on a pear tree. This consisted of a long rope borrowed from the barn, a wooden rope pulley, another short piece of rope and the swing-board. The motive power was furnished by any available adult, male or female. Using a long pole, this person would push us up to the top of the apple tree and then, releasing the pole, we would go -- w h e e -- all the way to the pear tree.Then there were Nature's Building Blocks. I refer to the common Burdock bur, still in the growing stage. We would use these to build all sorts of things, much like Leggo. A favourite toy to build, using lots of imagination and sticky burs, was an automobile. The headlights would be made from the fully-opened bur showing the red flower. Then there were plenty of Milkweed plants in the Pig Yard. These plants yielded seed pods that made very interesting creatures, from dolls to the man driving the car. Yes, we had our own version of "cops and robbers". We used pea-shooters made from elderberry cane, which happens to be hollow. Using a pocket knife and a steel corset spring for a trigger, as well as the propellant, we fashioned a harmless little device that would shoot a small pea quite some distance. Of course, we were cautioned not to point it at anyone.When our little sister came along and was old enough, we allowed her to join in on our play. She soon became quite a beautiful, blond, auburn, curly-haired little sister. She learned most all of the farm chores, as well as the household tricks from her Ma.Ours being what we called a Mixed Farm, among other things we kept Free-Range chickens. This meant the chickens would be penned up all winter and left to run free, all over the place, from Spring until Fall. Hens, being independent creatures, preferred to choose their own nesting places, disregarding the fancy orange-crate nests we provided for them. My little sister and I would enjoy hunting the eggs. The nests could be anywhere within imagination. We not only had first to look in these nests we provided for them in the hen-house, then around the strawstack, in the hay mow, in the horse mangers -- well, all sorts of places. Sometimes we would miss one or two nests. When we did eventually find this hidden nest, some of the eggs had gotten stale or rotten. These, of course, would be a total loss. It was rather important to locate these stray nests because every egg meant several cents. Cents added into dollars. Eggs were part of our cash crop, as well as part of our menu for breakfasts.Alt hough most youngsters have lots of imagination, I thought that I had more than anyone else. I loved machinery and dreamed one day of being a great inventor. My favourite place to be was in the work shop. This is where you would find me. The sky turned darker as I brought to mind further memories...The next phase in my life began the Easter following my birthday party, just before I was six years old. To be precise, the year was 1915. Yes, I was allowed to go to school. The three of us tow-haired little boys started off hand in hand, I in the middle. We did not have far to go. The school was located at the corner of our pasture field. We just had to skip through the fields, wade through or jump over a little stream, crawl through an old wire fence, cross the Cutler Sideroad and there we were, at school. Of course, sometimes the stream would be too wide, following a heavy summer shower or Spring freshet. At such times, we were required to find our way around by the road.Our school was a white wooden frame building, complete with a Belfry and the anteroom. At the front, on the right hand side, stood the proverbial flagpole, flying the Union Jack. Beside the flagpole was a dug well serviced by an old wooden Pump. The playground equipment consisted of a swing and a double teeter, both made by some members of the school section. Placed discreetly behind the building were the two red outhouses, clearly labeled "Boys" and "Girls". The school grounds was enclosed by a board fence and a row of trees.Starting school this time of year did give me a chance to get acquainted with the other boys and girls and to feel what it is like, going to school. After about a month and a half, Summer vacation would start and we would all be free to enjoy a farm vacation.Durin g our "farm Vacation", we learned to work as well as to play. There were many things that we could work at and call play. Going to pasture in the early evening to fetch the cattle was one of those play jobs. I would usually be accompanied by our dog, Friskie. Friskie was considered to be a good cattle dog, in as much as he enjoyed chasing both cows and horses. As a matter of fact, he would chase anything that would run. I enjoyed the freedom of my bare feet, and would sometimes find wild strawberries on the way to divert my attention. There was a little creek meandering across our meadow where the cows would stop to grab a drink and I would wade into for fun.Another fun thing for me, when I felt like it, was when it was announced in a flurry of excitement, "Oh my, the cows are in the corn." This was, as I say, fun for me to run and drive them out. However, this meant that some fence needed fixing. This was another job for someone to do. This was not fun for Mama, or Papa, who had the responsibility of fixing the broken fence. This did happen quite frequently, because none of our fences were very good.Another fun thing, then, was mowing the lawn grass with a push-type lawnmower. After we had finished mowing, we had to rake the green cuttings into a pile. These green cuttings made an excellent smudge fire to repel the mosquitoes on some summer evening when we sat out of doors. We often sat out of doors in the summer. It was always so hot indoors.I enjoyed these summer evenings when I could just sit and listen to the evening creatures talking to each other. These were some of the times when I received some of those great ideas about things I would do later on. These were the times when we, as a family, would discuss the events of the day and plan for the morrow -- as much as we could. Then we would go to bed, more or less refreshed.My vacation also consisted of those many farm chores, like hoeing the corn or the beans; also like cleaning out the ever-dirty stables and putting down new straw. Vacation took in "Haying", "Harvesting", and all those jobs in the hot sun. I will tell about these events in another chapter. Hellraiser is a
. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Mar 2012. <http://kenmuma.com/grm/youth1.html>.
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. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Mar 2012. <http://kenmuma.com/grm/youth1.html>.
what is this blasphemy? Plagiarizing my own memories? How dare they.