*MAFIA* Forums
Miscellaneous => Spam => Topic started by: *MAFIA* Meeester on August 26, 2011, 07:37:44 PM
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At least once a week this fucker does something unspeakably retarded which pisses me of, but it's always different each week, so I may post multiple events if enough happen that piss me off enough.
Before I go on, i've known my roommate since sophomore year of high school and he was ALWAYS an irrational and illogical worker/student yet somehow we get along, MOST of the time. If you didn't agree with his idea or taste then you were given a blank stare or even insulted. He puts more emphasis on his relationship with his girlfriend than on his own schoolwork and always has. This relationship is also very pathetic as his girlfriend is a cheating whore. (im not that great of a friend). Last bit is that he is the typical newfriend "I TROLL U ROFL RAGE MORE" kind of guy, not the successful troll but a failure. I made the mistake of agreeing to room with him this year.
I'll start with day 1 where we moved into our dorm 5 days before classes started. Not 30 minutes after all of our parents left this whiny little bitch starts complaining about how his degree won't be worth anything and how he should have gone to Georgia Tech (which he couldn't since he was a dumb fucker and had a 2.5 gpa). I should have known that this was a sign of things to come because for the entire day he was going off about how he will never find a job with his degree in Mechanical Engineering because it's from this school even though Lockheed LOVES the local SPSU graduates and normally hires up a lot of the M.E. majors. I normally just tune this bullshit out but then he turned to questioning/insulting MY major in mechatronics which I was not going to let happen. I stared him straight in little bitch russian eye and told him to shut his mouth before I kick his teeth in because he hasn't even started classes, yet he is already afraid he has no future let alone that he has the audacity to call MY degree useless. Needless to say he was done complaining for that day. I felt great and made a cup of ramen.
Next we've got day 3 of classes when he had Algebra homework (see dumb fucker with a 2.5gpa). Since I was put into calc, he asked me for help which I was less than willing to offer. After some convincing I guided him through a few of the problems and he went back to work, or I wish he had. Right after I had given him back his book to work on his own, he gets a text from his whore and proceeds to chat with her for the next 30 minutes. I just watch him as he does, I shit you not, 1 minute of math for every 5 minutes of texting. When he looks up at me after getting frustrated with his homework I don't even say anything to him. I put my headset on and get on vent. He proceeds to go all "Navi" on me with HEY LISTEN! until I turn around and sardonicly ask him how he can't understand his work when he has been texting the she-whore for math help for the past half hour instead of doing it himself. I turned right back around and returned to vent and Balth's sexual deviancy.
Shit like this happens once a week like it has for the past 3 years, so its not like this came out of nowhere. If it gets worse then I'll find a new roommate but for now i'll just yell at him until he cries.
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Threaten him...with a knife.
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Cool story bro.
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Just tune him out and give him a blank stare while nodding every 10 seconds while you count those seconds out in your head. Also helps avoid having to listen to women bitch for hours.
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Threaten him...with a knife.
Laugh all you want, that shit works.
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how he should have gone to Georgia Tech (which he couldn't since he was a dumb fucker and had a 2.5 gpa).
Wait, is your roommate Blakjax?
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Moving in with friends from high school is a no no. Since college life is different and then when u want to do something on your own it is like your friend has to do it with you since you are more like brothers now instead of friends. I did random and was fine. You should just invite more people into your room, like neighbors or something. You should have went random. Once you make college friends then it is ok to room with them for more years since they are used to you in college, your friend is not used to you in college, and you weren't used to him and now ur both paying the price. Do you have another roommate?
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I have two other roommates in a separate room next to mine. The dorm is a double with two rooms for two people each. These two roommates are both indian guys who bring godawful smelling food every other day to the room but are otherwise good guys.
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Threaten him...with a knife.
Threaten him...with his life.
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his girlfriend is a cheating whore.
Have sexual intercourse in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation with his girlfriend.
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Have sexual intercourse in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation with his girlfriend.
Good idea, poor purpose as I would rather her stupidity not be passed on. Although, I have already cockblocked myself with my 3 years of insulting both the russian and his gf.
Though still funny.
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Sadly, a ME degree with a 2.5 at GT is worth more than a 3.0 at lesser engineering schools.
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Sadly, a ME degree with a 2.5 at GT is worth more than a 3.0 at lesser engineering schools.
Understandable which is why I intend to transfer to GT, but he tried to get into GT then complained about it when he applied with only a 2.5gpa in highschool.
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Wait, is your roommate Blakjax?
Somebody's mad.
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Somebody's mad.
Relevant.
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljekarihq21qabj53o1_400.gif)
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How the hell do you graduate with a 2.5 GPA? Even if I tried I could get lower than a 3.5.
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long story short im stuck with the fat chick for game day on saturday because of my roommate.
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long story short im stuck with the fat chick for game day on saturday because of my roommate.
Just come out and say it Meeester, we all know you dig the chubby's.
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This fucker is the posterboy for people who don't understand how talking on a phone works. He sends a text every 15 seconds with no more than 3-5 words each time yet refuses to ever TALK to someone on the phone.
Okay so my 3rd roommate and myself are playing some mass effect 2, but I got bored trying to get Kelly to fuck me in the game, so I give the controller to the Russian. He proceeds to play but within 30 seconds he gets a text and stops in the middle of an important cut-scene where some alien bitch tells you where you need to find a certain assassin to recruit. Russian answers the text with a 3 word response and goes back to playing. This 30 second cycle of texting and playing continues for about an hour until he gets lost and asks me where he is supposed to go. I tell him there was just a cut-scene that told him where to go. He says he didn't see it. Now thoroughly pissed off about him putting more time into texting than playing, I grab his phone and ask him why he feels his conversation with his whore gf is so important if he can respond with just 3 words each time. Without any support for his argument such as sharing with me his life altering conversation with his whore, he takes back his phone and pouts saying it is important and just sits on the bed refusing to play anymore. :bash:
He was doing so well with not being such a piece of shit for a few weeks.
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Maybe you guys need to have a royal rumble and the winner gets to be in charge for a month.
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You should file for divorce Meeester, irreconcilable differences.
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Have someone else kill him.
1) You no longer have a terrible roommate.
2) You get all A's for the rest of the semester without having to go to class.
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Kelly doesn't fuck you.
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I have 3 roommates, Russian, Pakistani, and Indian. The Pakistani is kind-hearted but very religious and as such cannot eat or do much of anything that the rest of us can yet we still respect this and work with it. The Indian is much like myself or anyone else in this clan; he is familiar with all popular culture, events, and is pretty much the polar opposite of the Pakistani. Then we have the sheltered Russian,and I just found out how sheltered he really was.
He used to live in New York until he was 5ish then moved to Georgia. In the county the two of us lived in, MS13 was quite prominent but we were both in better sections of the county with no crime or gangs. Regardless, gangs still existed here. My roommate had no clue they existed in our area nor did he believe me when I told him specifically where the bad areas were (i.e. 15 miles from his neighborhood). I had to have my mother tell him since she works in a Title-1 school, or whichever one is for majority impoverished students (Am I correct Beatle?), and my mother is familiar with each student who is around gangs or has family in them.
He also can not differentiate 50-Cent, Xzibit, or Snoop Dog. The Russian was adamant that the "Yo-Dawg" meme guy was 50-Cent and NOT Xzibit. When he asked who 50-Cent was, I told him he was a rapper who came up with Vitamin Water and my Indian roommate backed me up on this.
The Russian is still horribly racist yet insists on avoiding the use of swears. He specifically said last night when all 4 of us went to Burger King that he didn't mean to say "shit" out loud but then as we got to our last turn into the campus he said, "Oh man you can barely see that dark nigger!" I shit bricks as hard as diamond and felt the urge to bash my roommate's head in. All of us yelled at him for his numerous contradictions and he just claimed he was a better person than us. My two other mates and I were speechless for the rest of the drive and night.
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I have 3 roommates, Russian, Pakistani, and Indian. The Pakistani is kind-hearted but very religious and as such cannot eat or do much of anything that the rest of us can yet we still respect this and work with it. The Indian is much like myself or anyone else in this clan; he is familiar with all popular culture, events, and is pretty much the polar opposite of the Pakistani. Then we have the sheltered Russian,and I just found out how sheltered he really was.
He used to live in New York until he was 5ish then moved to Georgia. In the county the two of us lived in, MS13 was quite prominent but we were both in better sections of the county with no crime or gangs. Regardless, gangs still existed here. My roommate had no clue they existed in our area nor did he believe me when I told him specifically where the bad areas were (i.e. 15 miles from his neighborhood). I had to have my mother tell him since she works in a Title-1 school, or whichever one is for majority impoverished students (Am I correct Beatle?), and my mother is familiar with each student who is around gangs or has family in them.
He also can not differentiate 50-Cent, Xzibit, or Snoop Dog. The Russian was adamant that the "Yo-Dawg" meme guy was 50-Cent and NOT Xzibit. When he asked who 50-Cent was, I told him he was a rapper who came up with Vitamin Water and my 3rd roommate backed me up on this.
The Russian is still horribly racist yet insists on avoiding the use of swears. He specifically said last night when all 4 of us went to Burger King that he didn't mean to say "shit" out loud but then as we got to our last turn into the campus he said, "Oh man you can barely see that dark nigger!" I shit bricks as hard as diamond and felt the urge to bash my roommate's head in. All of us yelled at him for his numerous contradictions and he just claimed he was a better person than us. My two other mates and I were speechless for the rest of the drive and night.
Racism is accepted in Russia, believe me. Georgians are probably a more stupid version of Russians. Are you talking about the country Georgia (Next to Russia) or the state Georgia USA ?
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Georgians are probably a more stupid version of Russians. Are you talking about the country Georgia (Next to Russia) or the state Georgia USA ?
Wow... You are fucking retarded.
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Sounds like the Paki and Indian are legit, but the Russian has a lot to learn. And yes, a Title-1 school can be for impoverished students. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a "bad" school though, with gangs and "minorities" and whatever else...it just means 75% or more of the students are on free or reduced lunch.
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7 hours. 7 STRAIGHT HOURS OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC. GOD DAMMIT!!!
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What ethnicity are you? I'd laugh my ass off if you are Polish.
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7 hours. 7 STRAIGHT HOURS OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC. GOD DAMMIT!!!
why so much xmaas music
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He loves Christmas music more than the radio stations who play it November 1st. It has been on pandora nonstop for over 3 days. Thank god for headsets.
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wow
got to say when i was in vegas last december, they had it playing at the bellagio fountains. i found my new favorite xmas song
http://youtu.be/5ycWObpi73Y
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I am glad too be working for a company that doesn't play any music on the loud speaker.
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I am glad too be working for a company that doesn't play any music on the loud speaker.
selling oranges that you stole does not mean you work for a company!!!! Even if you stole those oranges from a company's farm!
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This fucker woke me up at 2am to play Halo Anniversary this morning. He told me to calm down so I threw his controller out of the window. :danceroll:
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This fucker woke me up at 2am to play Halo Anniversary this morning. He told me to calm down so I threw his controller out of the window. :danceroll:
why not kill him and make it look like a suicide so you get straight A's for the semester?
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(http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g431/niggerwhipyoass/17582.jpg)
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Nov. 1 - Dec. 26, every year...why do people always complain about them playing Christmas music so early, you should expect it by now. Plus, they are great songs, so who cares?
How is your roommate by the way?
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why not kill him and make it look like a suicide so you get straight A's for the semester?
Ricin?
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all is forgiven.
This man broke up with his girlfriend finally after 3 years. 5 days later he has found himself a pretty hot, mostly rich, fuckbuddy at an all girls college.
He has also shared the wealth and has helped get myself one as well as our 3rd roommate. Life is good right now.
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all is forgiven.
This man broke up with his girlfriend finally after 3 years. 5 days later he has found himself a pretty hot, mostly rich, fuckbuddy at an all girls college.
He has also shared the wealth and has helped get myself one as well as our 3rd roommate. Life is good right now.
Roommates that lend a hand are great.
Unless they're male.....
(http://i1214.photobucket.com/albums/cc486/rybear-ross/HandJob.gif)
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The Russian bro-raped my other Indian roommate. He dry humped him into submission which caused a window to crash to the ground. Video uploaded soon.
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How much do you pay each year to study at a university? In Norway its all free and the standards are pretty high :)
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How much do you pay each year to study at a university? In Norway its all free and the standards are pretty high :)
(http://redditmeme.com/img/pics/alesund-norway-my-hometown/spends-whole-life-on-internet-never-realizes-how-beautiful-norway-is.jpg)
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Russian raping a brown boy.
http://youtu.be/KTECd4ZfMaI
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Russian raping a brown boy.
http://youtu.be/KTECd4ZfMaI
That is probably the most random video I've seen in a while, so congratulation s lol. Who has to pay for it?
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So I am still in my fraternity, but I am now in charge of all punishments. Unchecked power essentially was the only reason I gave the members for me to stay.
The russian is also in the fraternity, for now.
This fucker decided to go drinking with 2 other brothers which would have been fine but he called up Mr.Asswipe who was booted from the fraternity. Mr.Asswipe decided to take the 3 drunken morons to another frat house that didn't like us. This led to a huge shitstorm with people getting in fist fights and the mother of one of the guys threatening to sue the national headquarters for the fraternity.
As the guy in charge of punishments, I have to hold a hearing Tuesday for all 3 idiots, minus Mr.Asswipe who should never have been anywhere near them. Most likely outcome: Russian is kicked out, Guy who's mom is suing the frat is kicked out, Dumbass #3 will be given a fine since he is just a clueless fuckup.
But how was your weekend? Pollen count has been killer.
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I didn't hold frats in very high regard before reading this.
Now that I know a little bit more about them I think they're even more retarded than I did 5 minutes ago.
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So I am still in my fraternity, but I am now in charge of all punishments. Unchecked power essentially was the only reason I gave the members for me to stay.
The russian is also in the fraternity, for now.
This fucker decided to go drinking with 2 other brothers which would have been fine but he called up Mr.Asswipe who was booted from the fraternity. Mr.Asswipe decided to take the 3 drunken morons to another frat house that didn't like us. This led to a huge shitstorm with people getting in fist fights and the mother of one of the guys threatening to sue the national headquarters for the fraternity.
As the guy in charge of punishments, I have to hold a hearing Tuesday for all 3 idiots, minus Mr.Asswipe who should never have been anywhere near them. Most likely outcome: Russian is kicked out, Guy who's mom is suing the frat is kicked out, Dumbass #3 will be given a fine since he is just a clueless fuckup.
But how was your weekend? Pollen count has been killer.
Admin abuse!!! Your lucky Beatle wasn't in your frat. He would take all your rights away!!!!
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I didn't hold frats in very high regard before reading this.
Now that I know a little bit more about them I think they're even more retarded than I did 5 minutes ago.
I have to agree.
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and i have to agree that wasserfaller truly sucks
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and i have to agree that wasserfaller truly sucks
Who left the door open? You're gonna let the trolls walk right on in!
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Who left the door open? You're gonna let the trolls walk right on in!
Where did you come from, awwww did some one leave your cage open?
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When I was in primary school the boys and girls used to push each other around when they secretly liked each other.
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I don't know what is happening, but I agree with new velociraptor pipe smoking waterfaller.
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When I was in primary school the boys and girls used to push each other around when they secretly liked each other.
I don't know what is happening, but I agree with new velociraptor pipe smoking waterfaller.
I'm as stumped as you guys are as to why the ladyboy troll has taken a fancy to me
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I'm as stumped as you guys are as to why the ladyboy troll has taken a fancy to me
because everyone wants to suck yo dick son!
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I'm as stumped as you guys are as to why the ladyboy troll has taken a fancy to me
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people... poor thing, poor thing !
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
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hey now, this is my attention whoring thread. take your lovers' quarrel elsewhere.
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hey now, this is my attention whoring thread. take your lovers' quarrel elsewhere.
And I thought I had problems? Look at your face!
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Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people... poor thing, poor thing !
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
Listen here sir, go back to the bridge you crawled out from under...no one enjoys you being here.
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Listen here mrs, go back to the bridge you crawled out from under...no one enjoys you being here.
why don’t you slip into something more comfortable. like a coma? :)
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News.
Getting an apartment with the Russian and another good friend. Also, I need a funny way to leave this piece of shit frat.
suggestions on how to leave this frat and cause as much drama in doing so?
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suggestions on how to leave this frat and cause as much drama in doing so?
Become a spy. It worked for MAFIA.
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News.
Getting an apartment with the Russian and another good friend. Also, I need a funny way to leave this piece of shit frat.
suggestions on how to leave this frat and cause as much drama in doing so?
eat a bunch of Mexican food then pop a couple laxatives and shit up and down the halls and all over the walls!
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Burn it down.
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Tell them you've defected to the soviet union to be a communist because the frat was too socialist.
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You bitch's are all thinking SMALL TIME!
Alright, to my understanding the Russian has many female companions correct? Are they in the same mindset as to obliterate the fraternity? If so, you sir... are in luck.
Was there an instance where said female companions was at a fraternity gathering? If so, have her report that she was raped by several members of the fraternity during the gathering and was too ashamed to come forward until now.
I'm being dead serious here btw. This shit happens ALL the time.
The stigma of a frat that gang rapes could possibly improve their reputation, but since it is the south to ensure it hurts them, make sure that if there are any black guys in the frat that they are implicated as well. This will make the story more apt to being believed.
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Protip: this is a neckbeard school so frats here are also neckbeards. Also surprisingly the big black dude in the frat that could pass off as a Jock is actually gay. I.e. unlikely that there was a gangrape.
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Well... that trumps every single one of my dastardly plans, with the exception of putting child pr0n on all their computers.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BIsi_VYDco
You're welcome
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Unscrew and open air conditioning vent, place a can of open sardines in vent duct. Replace vent. They will never find the source of the smell.
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Why are you quitting your frat, I thought they were your brothers? Is there a certain way you have to exit them, similar to how you entered?
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Its 3am and my two roommates and their fat whore one of them brought over have woken me up twice with their screams at some jackass movie on Netflix. Asked them to quiet down but they persist. Ill just disconnect the modem, fuckers.
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Its 3am and my two roommates and their fat whore one of them brought over have woken me up twice with their screams at some jackass movie on Netflix. Asked them to quiet down but they persist. Ill just disconnect the modem, fuckers.
poop in her hair while she's sleeping
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poop in her hair while she's sleeping
crazy glue their balls to their inner thigh next time they pass out drunk..