*MAFIA* Forums

Now, I know you don't care about anything related to DOA because of all the glue you people snort, but I'd like to mention that we kicked out the guy who has set up a website and forums for us. This means we no longer have a website or forum. Why did we kick this person out? Well my dear laddy, he was a retarded monkey testicle.

This dude...is almost as retarded as somebody who is really retarded. He says things left and right about how he can h4x the gibson. He told us he is writing a game hack that will break into remote manager and disable punk buster by stealing the password to it *magically*. He was telling us how he hacked YOUR server and got a hold of Bonehead's password and he was able to download all the hacks you guys use. However, this is all probably a hefty helping of bullshit. He said that it is EASY for him to hack up your 128bit SSL encryption that you all apparantly use. Finally I just wanted to prove how stupid he is and asked him what header file would somebody include in a simple networking application if you were coding it in C or C++ in Win32...well, thats where he simply went dead silent (winsock.h or winsock2.h btw)

Anyway, I suggest you ban this fucker from your forums BEFORE HE HACKS YOUR MOTHER'S UNDERPANTS OMG!

(Oh, he also sucks at Battlefield)

Dude. The map totally kicks the living shit out of your ass, and then kicks the living shit that fell out of your ass all around the god damn room until everything is covered in amazingness.

I modded it. Because I rock. It is a pity that many of the features in that map are secret...  well, maybe with your r33t hax0r skillz (*roll eyes*), you will be able to hax the gibson and find out just how much the inner workings of my all powerful greatness is.

*MAFIA* Phantom: Does this include the crashing into my debris?
*MAFIA* Beetlejuice: Actually, I had 31 deaths. I was testing the server before you logged on.
*MAFIA* Loaded: God dammit. It isn't supposed to be locked to the public. I guess our forum admin (the guy who set this all up) closed it after a guy called JewFucker posted some...pr0n in the forums. Anyway, I'll unlock it.

insert random rambling, yet witty, insult here

Go ahead and bust out the logs then.  You're right, I did make a mistake.  After we beat you 8-0, you left the server.

If I would have actually been paying attention, I would have pwnd you.

All [DOA]s seem the same to me. Then today on El Alamein (you weren't there), [DOA] got pwned again.

There are quite a few people in my clan that are in fact quite easy to kill (no offense DOAers). Actually, there are really only 3 kick-ass players I can think of off the top of my head (including me). Everybody else is just something to keep you busy while we rape you in a very not-nice fashion.

However, I must admit...regula r Battlefield is not my _specialty_. If we were playing Desert Combat, I'd be kicking your asses up and down the map without even having to really think about it.

When are you going to challenge us in this section - http://www.mafiaowns.com/Forum/forumdisplay.php?f=18

As soon as we feel like it, sissy-pants (and actually have enough internal orginization).

Anyway, let's see those logs...

Crosshair came onto our server and said that your clan could pwn our clan.

After killing him several times in a row, dancing in his bloody entrails and dragging his corpse through the town, I started to think about his proposition. I would be quite interesting to see one cheating clan take on another cheating clan.

So maybe we should have some sort of clan match sometime. You know? My rag-tag mob of cheaters take on your army of cheaters.

Now I know you say you'll own us left and right, but maybe you should interview, at least whats left of him, crosshair.

Yes yes, hello there. How's the wife and kids & all the good rubbish.

I am Programmer_One . Me and Blacksheep_1 operate the DOA server. By now I'm sure you are tired of my introduction, so let me get onto the good stuff.

1)  DOA: Dawn of Atheria. If you are wondering what the hell an Atheria is or why is it so early in the morning, well...I have no idea. DOA (Dawn of Atheria) is the name of my current game I am writing. I one day got up, put the [DOA] tag on my clean-pressed shirt, and then pwnd some n00bs. Nothing more complicated than that.

2) We are not a SUPER secret clan, but we are secret enough. In fact, we're not really a clan. We're just a bunch of programmers that like Desert Combat and Battlefield 1942 in general. We put on nametags because [insert random reason here]. We don't require any fancy rituals for people to join our "clan" mostly since we really don't give a rats ass one way or another. We like to cheat, and we know how to make cheats. We enjoy pointing our fingers at people who complain about people cheating and laugh maniacally. (We also like to laugh a bit at those anti-cheat guilds - some people just need to aquire a life).

3) I have no idea what some of people are rambling about. We're a pain in the ass? We make babies cry? We make men cower? We've had our server running for about a week and we're already getting such awesome reviews? Kick-ass.

4) Drinking gasoline may be hazardous for your health.

5) I could probably pwn any of you were you stand, with or without cheats. (Considering you are not standing inside an invisable hanger 50 feet in the air...ahem). Seriously. I've spent way too much time playing this game its not even funny. I can't speak for other people in my "clan", but I must admit we've got a few easy kills bearing the [DOA] nametag.

6) We don't do the whole "clan" thing in general. We don't make avatars, logos, lunch boxes, t-shirts, statues, action figures, etc. We may make some stuff later on, like a website...mayb e. I don't know. I'm much to lazy to actually care.

Basically this is whats going on. I've been playing this game for a while now. I've been playing with blacksheep as well as with about 60 other programmers. We're not a real clan. We don't _care_ about anything "clan"ish. We just play and thats about it. We wrote some cheats, some pb-proof cheats and found many glitches with the BF engine itself.

The point is: We found a few people who enjoy cheating and don't make a fuss about it or the concept of cheating. We also found a few more people who have explored map modification and are willing to make us some maps. Since we have taken the position of "not caring about how a real clan works", we 'recruited' these people into our clan. We did this both because there is something pleasantly evil about them, and they they are not totally retarded or arrogant bastards.

This concludes our test of the emergency broadcast system. If this had been a real emergency, you would have probably seen flashing pictures of goatse.

Not that I really care, but if you have anything to say, you may find this: ProgrammerOne@msn.com helpful when contacting me via MSN Messanger. I accept all major credit cards.