*MAFIA* Forums
- June 16, 2024, 02:09:45 AM
- Welcome, Guest
News:
Welcome back the Arcade! Play over 100+ games to get the high score and compete against other forum members.
http://www.mafiaowns.com/index.php?action=arcade;sa=list;sortby=a2z;
|
Show Posts
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
77
Spam / Re: joke spam
« on: May 18, 2015, 11:21:52 AM »
Muslim Book Store
I was walking through the mall, and noticed a Muslim book store. Out of curiosity, I went on in.
A bearded tall male clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me (I imagine I didn't look like the normal clientele). I asked him if they had a copy of the U.S. Immigration Policy Book regarding Muslims.
The clerk growled, “Fuck off. Get out, and stay out!â€
I said, “Yes, that's the one! Do you have that in paperback?
I was walking through the mall, and noticed a Muslim book store. Out of curiosity, I went on in.
A bearded tall male clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me (I imagine I didn't look like the normal clientele). I asked him if they had a copy of the U.S. Immigration Policy Book regarding Muslims.
The clerk growled, “Fuck off. Get out, and stay out!â€
I said, “Yes, that's the one! Do you have that in paperback?
78
General / Re: Happy Birthday ( . )Y( . )
« on: May 07, 2015, 12:32:36 PM »
Is this how you got your name, Happy Daze n confused day.
80
Spam / Re: joke spam
« on: April 28, 2015, 02:07:10 PM »
1. A woman in labor is screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed. He says, "Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass but NOOOO, you said that might hurt!"
2. I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted. I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough! But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job for myself and she goes fucking nuts!!! Women, I just can't figure them out!.
3. A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born: "I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either but this is a beaver, not a fucking photo-copier."
4. Little kid catches his mom and dad having sex. He says, "What are you doing?" His father says, "We are making you a little brother." The boy answers, "Why don't you do it doggy style, and make me a puppy!"
5. "I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like; "I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister in law."
6. Dear Dr. Phil: I was watching my next door neighbor's wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was jerking off I turned to notice my wife was just standing there, arms folded, watching me. Is she a fucking pervert or what?
2. I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted. I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough! But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job for myself and she goes fucking nuts!!! Women, I just can't figure them out!.
3. A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born: "I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either but this is a beaver, not a fucking photo-copier."
4. Little kid catches his mom and dad having sex. He says, "What are you doing?" His father says, "We are making you a little brother." The boy answers, "Why don't you do it doggy style, and make me a puppy!"
5. "I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like; "I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister in law."
6. Dear Dr. Phil: I was watching my next door neighbor's wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was jerking off I turned to notice my wife was just standing there, arms folded, watching me. Is she a fucking pervert or what?
81
BF 3 / Re: Banned from Gunmaster for "Hacking/Cheating"
« on: April 27, 2015, 07:16:03 AM »I'm not sure yet, but this might be a new form of entertainment. .. It's clear he is the black sheep of MAFIA as I haven't heard anyone stand up for him yet.Pretty much sums it up.
I just watched him finish a round...Soooo much trash talking "MY BITCHES" etc, but he is legitimately terrible at the game. I start playing the next round and I assume he has to haxor into his consoles and look at some stats to ascertain whether or not he thinks someone is a threat to his skills (which is nearly everyone) then the ban drops out of no where so he can jump in and feel good about himself once again.
82
General / Re: Here is Practical Explanation about Next Life, Purpose of Human Life -
« on: April 24, 2015, 07:35:41 AM »
Did you share a blunt with Dune Surfer?
84
Flame / Re: banned in gun master
« on: April 10, 2015, 01:22:09 PM »Hi
Thanks
Thats the video :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06zQU2hvStY
MR pl4yer
Nice, can you edit this down to just the kills of our local rage monkey, that would be most epic. Any whiny post from him will be bonus points.
85
Spam / Re: joke spam
« on: April 03, 2015, 01:11:23 PM »
An elderly couple was watching a
Discovery Channel special about
a West African bush tribe whose
men all had penises 24 inches
long. When the black male reaches a
certain age, a string is tied around
his manhood and on the other end
is a weight. After a while, the
weight stretches it to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband
was getting out of the shower,
his wife looked at him and said,
"How about we try the African
string and weight procedure?â€
The husband agreed and they
tied a string and a weight to
his willy. A few days later,
the wife asked the husband,
"How is our little Tribal
experiment coming along?"
"Well, it looks like we're about
half way there," he replied. "Wow,
you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"
"No, it's turned black."
Discovery Channel special about
a West African bush tribe whose
men all had penises 24 inches
long. When the black male reaches a
certain age, a string is tied around
his manhood and on the other end
is a weight. After a while, the
weight stretches it to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband
was getting out of the shower,
his wife looked at him and said,
"How about we try the African
string and weight procedure?â€
The husband agreed and they
tied a string and a weight to
his willy. A few days later,
the wife asked the husband,
"How is our little Tribal
experiment coming along?"
"Well, it looks like we're about
half way there," he replied. "Wow,
you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"
"No, it's turned black."
86
BF 3 / Re: Banned from gunmaster w/o cause
« on: February 11, 2015, 09:57:57 AM »I was banned again, don't know why. Also banned from Vent again when I tried to talk to an admin. I'm not doing anything wrong, just want to play gunmaster on your server. Can I please talk to someone about why I was banned again?
Thanks,
ctd_62
Beattlejuice, can you please define "Final Warning" again?
87
Graphics / Re: Time to spice things up?
« on: January 27, 2015, 12:23:44 PM »
Font doesn't look right. try a different one.
88
Spam / Re: joke spam
« on: January 16, 2015, 11:26:10 AM »
The Northerner's son graduated from college and was
offered a good job, but it was in the deep South.
Dad, a liberal Democrat, was worried about his son
going off to such a strange land and he warned him to avoid
entanglements with southern women.
"They can't cook the kind of food we
northerners eat, they won't keep the house clean,
they don't like sex, and if you marry one, she'll
call you a 'Damn Yankee' the rest of your life.
"
After a few months, the son telephoned Dad and told him
he had just met a wonderful Southern girl, and thought he
was in love with her.
Dad repeated his warnings about Southern women and
their shortcomings.
After another couple of months, the son called Dad and
told him he and his Southern girl were getting married. Dad
just moaned and groaned and repeated his warnings.
Two more months go by and son telephones
Dad......"Dad, you were wrong. My wife is a great cook,
keeps the house neat as a pin, and she absolutely loves
sex."
Dad responded, "Well, what about the fourth thing
-- her calling you a Damn Yankee?"
"Oh, we reached an agreement on
that. She won't call me a Damn Yankee, and I
won't call her a Nigger.
offered a good job, but it was in the deep South.
Dad, a liberal Democrat, was worried about his son
going off to such a strange land and he warned him to avoid
entanglements with southern women.
"They can't cook the kind of food we
northerners eat, they won't keep the house clean,
they don't like sex, and if you marry one, she'll
call you a 'Damn Yankee' the rest of your life.
"
After a few months, the son telephoned Dad and told him
he had just met a wonderful Southern girl, and thought he
was in love with her.
Dad repeated his warnings about Southern women and
their shortcomings.
After another couple of months, the son called Dad and
told him he and his Southern girl were getting married. Dad
just moaned and groaned and repeated his warnings.
Two more months go by and son telephones
Dad......"Dad, you were wrong. My wife is a great cook,
keeps the house neat as a pin, and she absolutely loves
sex."
Dad responded, "Well, what about the fourth thing
-- her calling you a Damn Yankee?"
"Oh, we reached an agreement on
that. She won't call me a Damn Yankee, and I
won't call her a Nigger.
89
Join / Re: join Mafia
« on: January 06, 2015, 07:20:32 AM »I'm serious now, I don't give a fuck to Manoshit, He's inactive member and all pissed members who were mad about me, I'm here to join group Mafia BF3. Plus, it's time to get a new facelift.
Thank You Ricardo for paying me the highest compliment. Your attempted insult truly shows that after all these years I am still under your skin. I will now call off the hounds and be civil. So stop your begging, craw on over here and rise Sir Ricardo, wipe your chin and dust off your knees and let me give you my blessing to be part of the best of the best. I refer Ricardo.