It doesn't get much dumber that HP tech support...
-"Hi, I am trying to scan a document from my printer but there is a 'Scan to' option missing on the software."
-"Ok sir, it looks like your warranty is up on that machine. We can have you send it in to be fixed but it will cost you $64."
-"No the printer is not broken, there is just a little glitch in the software that won't let me scan."
-"Ok sir, the software came with the printer so in order to fix the software and the printer I am going to have to ask for your information so you can be charged and then send it in so we can fix it."
-"How exactly do you 'fix' software? I just need a quick solution to get past this glitch so I can choose an option to scan to in the Solution Center software."
-"Yes I understand, but your warranty is up and in order to fix your printer we need to charge you."
-"Fuck you." *CLICK*