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[*MAFIA* Manowar]

Group Therapy

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four
young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he
observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "You're obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This
too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her
little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea
what he's talking about.  Let's go pick up Peter and Willy from school and
go get dinner."

[*MAFIA* MisfiT]

I Nigger, a jew and a mexican walked into a bar. The bar tender say's "GET OUT!"

[*MAFIA* BassSlappa]

I Nigger, a jew and a mexican walked into a bar. The bar tender say's "GET OUT!"

fucking clint eastwood.

[*MAFIA* MisfiT]

fucking clint eastwood.

That was around LONG before that piece of shit movie came out.  I hate that guy. 

[*MAFIA* Manowar]

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd. The speaker and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before. To make it a little more interesting, the speaker says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat in the crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do. "That was impressive, the Pope says, "But did you know that with just one wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."

The speaker seriously doubts this, and says so. "One wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."

He slapped her.

[*MAFIA* Meeester]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ..

[*MAFIA* Meeester]

Old joke.


(Insert old age joke here)

[*MAFIA* Hellraiser]

I know this has been posted before, but

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJlPEHL85Ig&feature=related

[*MAFIA* Manowar]

Only in  Texas my friends... Only in  Texas

A lawyer -MISFIT- runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.   He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer Video Production Noob from  Austin and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from  Houston ,  Texas .  He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the  Texas deputy' s expense.

The deputy says,' License and registration, please.'

'What for?' says the lawyer -MISFIT-.

The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

Then the lawyer  -MISFIT- says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License and registration, please.'

The lawyer -MISFIT- says, 'What's the difference?'

'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law  License and registration, please!' the Deputy says.

-MISFIT- says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

'That sounds fair.  Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the -MISFIT- and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

[*MAFIA* BassSlappa]

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Casper the ghost?

Casper can go through walls.

hella messed up lol.

[*MAFIA* Meeester]

'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

My dad told me that one a few years ago, I laughed my ass off.

[*MAFIA* BassSlappa]

A Chinese man rings his boss and says: Me sick I cann`t come to work.

The Boss says: "when I am sick, I fuck my wife ... try that?"

Two hours later the Chinese man rings back and says: "Me better now you got a nice house!"

[Head Hunter]

A Chinese man rings his boss and says: Me sick I cann`t come to work.

The Boss says: "when I am sick, I fuck my wife ... try that?"

Two hours later the Chinese man rings back and says: "Me better now you got a nice house!"

Way to fuck up a perfectly good joke.

[*MAFIA* BassSlappa]

wtf are u talking about, i got it from the front page NOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[*MAFIA* MisfiT]

Only in  Texas my friends... Only in  Texas

A lawyer -MISFIT- runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.   He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer Video Production Noob from  Austin and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from  Houston ,  Texas .  He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the  Texas deputy' s expense.

The deputy says,' License and registration, please.'

'What for?' says the lawyer -MISFIT-.

The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

Then the lawyer  -MISFIT- says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License and registration, please.'

The lawyer -MISFIT- says, 'What's the difference?'

'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law  License and registration, please!' the Deputy says.

-MISFIT- says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

'That sounds fair.  Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the -MISFIT- and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

I dont much care for this joke.