The Masebot1 theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
This one was hard to capture and interview seeing how he kept chewing on our equipment and insisting he was a wolf.....but once we got him to talk he was an open book.
Masebot1 started life as any child with down syndrome did, believing they were some inanimate object/being....in masebot1's case, he believed he was a wolf. At first i
hesitant to believe such a farfetched story....that was until he started to hump my leg, mark his territory and take a shit on my desk. He appearently was sold by mexicans
at the tender age of 17 where he was bought by another mexican known as MisfiT. Misfit was a great father figure to masebot, he showed him how to draw pictures of his wolf family that
no-one cared about and that were probably shot by indians to later be skinned alive. He so seriously believed he was a wolf that psychotherapy was state ordered and an iq test was ran....
it appears that his IQ was less than that of KrautKiller. Masebot went into a slow form of hibernation to serve justice to his endangered species, now he spends his free time failing math
and drawing pictures in his own fecal matter.
Facts.
1.) Thinks he is a wolf
2.) Horrible at math
3.) Horrible at art
4.) Is maggots secret lover
wait fuck!
The Mean Green theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
Gotta be careful what i say on this one......hmmmm m
Facts
1.) [insert old joke here]
Done.
The Meeester theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
See cock monger.
Life isn't easy when you are black, and meeester's life was no exception. He grew up on the mean streets of Salmon, Idaho as a half-breed. His mother was a 24 year old nurse at the old folks home,
his father, a 37 year old air conditioner repair man that was pissed off seeing he never attended college......t he problem, his mother was white and father was black. This wouldn't serve as a problem
to alot of other places in the country, but salmon was the home of 62% of the countries mormons at the time and alot of racial prejudice was floating around at the half breeds. He tried to lead a quiet
life but he was always called names growing up, he would always tell himself "Sticks and stones", that is until they actually got stones...... they pelted him that horrific afternoon and left him for
dead. he was hurt. He was violated. However, he had a new reason to go back to school the next day though....Veng ance. That night he prepared for war, they could just do that to him and laugh it off?
He would show them! he would show them all! That night he went to his fathers closet and jacked his glock. He awoke the next morning in a daze...half of his body wasn't there, it just wasn't right....he
was a machine, he stopped at the local park for a quick dick suck and carried on his way. He got to Jesus saves catholic school at 7:30 waiting, he had 30 minutes....30 minutes for them to feed the flame.
They all walked by, they all said hurtful things, but he didn't care. Soon enough it would be done with. HE pondered on when to strike. He wondered if he could go through with it. he wondered what was for lunch.
And most importantly he wondered if obama won the election the night before (teh blax had to know if obamas won tha electionz). The clock struck 10:30, time for next period, He thought "should i do it now?" but
he couldn't, next period was P.E. his favorite part of the day was shower time, he told himself, after the showers ill kill BOOOIISSS!!1@!. They ran then hit the showers....*BUZZER* period waS over, time to kill bitches.
He went to the main terror johnbot2.0 and said "hey gold fish!" by the time he looked up he had been shot twice in the foot, the school went into lockdown...... but not quick enough, he had the 4 perpatraitor's in his sight.
popped all of them, masturbated on their bodies, then took the science teachers segway, he wasn't alone though, the school security was hot on is tail in their own segways....it was the pursuit of a lifetime. Wheels screeching,
batteries sounding, and fat men on two wheeled machines that go as fast as a retarded aardvark, no seriously, a fucking aardvark, one without its two back legs, so its like a skink,a skink the size of an aardvark this thing is funny
looking but i digress. anyway they were off! Meeester had 25% battery left and didn't know it. He went on for another quater mile only to run out of power. His chubby ankles started moving as fast as they possibly could.
He ran into a residential street and down an alley only to reach a dead end. There he stood, a half man half monkey with a bullet left in the chamber..... he pulled it out put it under his chin and squeezed the trigger.....
Only to find it ripped off his leather face to reveal his robotic skeleton, so he was like "hey im a fucking robot, like terminator" so he was a god, pistol grip pumped the shit out of the rent-a-cops then went on to enslave the human
race seeing as meeester is a badass.
Facts
1.) loves cock
2.) is a robot
3.) no one likes him hahahahahha
not much is known about teh meeeesttterrrr .
The MeZmoriZe theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
Another emo church fag.
Facts.
1.) emo
2.) lives for jesus
Fin.
The Nitro theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
See 'Clan hopper'
Nitro wasn't always a man, growing up in the mean streets of Sante Fe, New Mexico was hard on a little girl.....but she always walked as tall and proud as possible.
Nitro, from a early age had a very noticeable limp and only four fingers on her left hand, this however wouldn't stop her from being the best glory hole owner in the
all of the midwest! At the age of 16 she dropped out of school and went on a life full of meth, penis, and sometimes even niggers.By the age of 18 she was a pro at all three.
She went to a nearby park and started whoring herself through a hole in the wall of the park restroom. Life was prosperous for young nitro. She maked enough money to bribe the
po-po to not arrest her and still had enough to rent her 300 square foot studio apartment. On January the 18th of 2005 it would all change. She started her day as usually, at the hole,
when her first customer arrived......i nstead of a penis he drew a gun. Nitro took a bullet to her pretty little mouth that had made her a hometown hero. She was in a coma for more than a
month before she awoke horrified by what she saw. Her face, so badly disfigured, was now incapable of wrking the hole she called home for so long, her teeth, jagged like a barracuda would not
suffice anymore. She went into a twisted deppression.He r only thing keeping her safe was the 25 grand she had stored away in a savings account. Out of hate of her new found looks she went in
for a sex change. She came out a he......his name would now be Jorge, jorge now mad at the world decided to buy guns, talk very whore-ishly and try to become a police man, only to get shot by his
meth dealer a week later.....HAHA HAHA NITRO GOT PWNED! FUCK YOU NITRO!
Facts.
1.) Is mexican,
2.) haz gunz
3.) can deepthroat a horse if needed.
NITRO GOT PWNT
The OUTLAW theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
A great canadian once said "A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe" and this quote was never more true to anyone but outlaw. He grew up the best life any canadian boy dream of. His father was on the syrup bottle,
his mother a pro mosse wrangler, and both his mother and father were men. He had a great life. When he was 8 his dad's took him moose hunting for the first time in the canadian forest. It was an amazing time for outlaw......he wanted
to be just like his parents. At the tender canadian age of 13 (after the canadian, united states exchange ratio it turns out to be rougly 20 american) he finally had a chance to go camping with his mate, we will just call him miah.
anyway the moose hunt went down hill fast. OUTLAW soon learned he was gay and needed a partner to become gay with. He confided in miah who was also gay, but outlaw didn't know it at the time.....but soon found out how gay he really was.
Over the next 4 days they had hot man on man sex nearly every day, some real brokeback mountain shit. It was amazing for outlaw. When he got back from the camping trip miah and outlaw took a little trip to California and got married as
fast as possible then went to form a new life in wisconsin as "the hairstyling lovers" The business is still looking to take off.....like their love!
Facts.
1.) Canadian
2.) gay
3.) does steriods
4.) goes by the name of "sally" on weekends.
This is one canadian you should keep your eye out for.
The PRO HELI M@NKIE theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
umm lets go straight to facts on this one.
1.) owns a pizza place
2.) last spotted yelling "OWNED MY BITCHES!" at a bunch of niggers in oakland.
3.) often jerks it to "Pizza informer monthly"
If found, please return to shady acres.
The Ransom theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
Ransom is the only known human being that can beat chuck norris in an arm wrestling competition... ..enough said.
Facts.
1.) he's canadian
2.) goes by sarah
3.) complete badass.
end facts.
The Rat theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
hmmmm dont want to make him angry and leave again so ummmmm hi rat
Facts
1.) hi
no seriously, stay with us.
The SouthernBell theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
Not much is known about the bell from the south.
Facts.
1.) known as the "Cum dumpster"
2.) was with keith, or bone, fuck i dont remember, some hick.
I know she wont read this so fuck you carla!
The swampfox theory by *MAFIA* MAGGOT
winrar in all aspects.
The year is 1942, a fresh out of elementary school swampfox is going off to school as he always does back home in germany when a bunch of german peeps
come and pick him up due to his jewish decent. They take him back to his home and arrest his entire family. It was a horrible time for young swampfox.
He was stuck in this concentration camp with his only possesion he managed to sneak in rectally with him....his dreidel. Oh how he loved his dreidel.
He would spin it all day. He played with that dreidel for nearly three years until he created a song and attempted to sing it one day, but he was heard!
The guards came and beat poor swampfox and put him on strict supervison. april 22nd 1945, swampfox is awoken to be dragged down the street and put into
a wierd chamber with his family and friends....lit tle did he know that this chamber was actually a gas chamber that would soon lead to his inevitable death,
or so they thought. They pumped the gas and one by one his friends started to die off. Soon his family did, but before his mom did, she gave him a toaster, she said
"son, with this toaster you shall save your life!" young swamp asked "how" but it was too late. She lay there dead. Poor swamp was all alone, he thought how can i live
through this? then the idea hit him. He started to beat himself in the head with the toaster, soon he lay knocked out. His slowed breathing and heart rate some how
made it so the gas that was being pumped through this tiny chamber had no effect on him. The guards, amazed, dragged him out and brought him straight to hitler, hitler
was left speechless and had no idea what to do with the boy. He pondered for days what to do with him before he finally went crazy and killed himself. Soon the war was over and
swampfox was praised for killing the most evil man in history.
Facts.
1.) Only known human to survive the gas chamber, twice.
2.) pwns bitches.
<3 you swamp.
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Topic: Story time. (Read 9144 times)