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Author Topic: joke spam  (Read 70147 times)

*MAFIA* Manowar

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #60 on: March 30, 2009, 11:23:58 AM »


 So they get in there and she says "How can we play submarine if u can't raise your parascope?"

That's no joke, It's Hawaii 50 on saturday night.    ahahahah
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Ultimate embarrassment, running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose first.

fall out qirl

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #61 on: March 30, 2009, 11:32:16 AM »

lmao


ok now i cant eat anything the next months cause i have perv pics in my head, thx manowar
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*MAFIA* MAGGOT

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #62 on: March 30, 2009, 11:45:52 AM »

This middle aged couple want to put some excitement back into thier sex life.
 So the woman says why don't we take a bath and and play submarine like we used to.
He says ok.
 So they get in there and she says "How can we play submarine if u can't raise your parascope?"
faggot
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"At some point in their lives, 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the dutch." ~The fact core, Portal 2.

fall out qirl

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #63 on: March 30, 2009, 11:48:08 AM »

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*MAFIA* MAGGOT

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #64 on: March 30, 2009, 11:53:11 AM »

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fall out qirl

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #65 on: March 30, 2009, 12:07:03 PM »

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*MAFIA* NiTrO

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #66 on: March 30, 2009, 05:21:41 PM »

fuck it all go slit your wrists "EVERY1"
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*MAFIA* Manowar

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #67 on: April 01, 2009, 11:46:48 AM »

Finally! -- a Blonde GUY Joke!

Blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. 'What's up?' he says. 'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says: 'Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!' The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. 'You rotten bastard,' says the husband, 'my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!'
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*MAFIA* ExcoWear

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #68 on: April 03, 2009, 11:34:39 PM »

What's common between men and video?

Both go backward ... forward ... backward ... forward ... backward ... forward ... stop and eject.
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*MAFIA* Manowar

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #69 on: April 08, 2009, 06:22:58 AM »

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.
 
She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps.
 
He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.
 
As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.
 
Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.
 
He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.
 
He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink Dress.
 
The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.
He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom.
 
She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
 
Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.
 
She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.
 
'Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him,' he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.
 
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.

‘Now. Tell HIM you have a fucking headache.’
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*MAFIA* Meeester

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #70 on: April 08, 2009, 12:48:38 PM »

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.
 
She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps.
 
He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.
 
As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.
 
Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.
 
He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.
 
He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink Dress.
 
The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.
He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom.
 
She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
 
Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.
 
She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.
 
'Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him,' he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.
 
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.

‘Now. Tell HIM you have a fucking headache.’


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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*MAFIA* Meeester

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #71 on: April 08, 2009, 06:47:31 PM »

Dickhead
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*MAFIA* Meeester

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #72 on: April 09, 2009, 06:01:23 PM »

A ... Almost Boobs
B ... Barely there.
C ... Can't Complain!
D ... Damn!
DD... Double damn!
E ... Enormous!
F ... Fake
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*MAFIA* Bonehead

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #73 on: April 09, 2009, 07:31:47 PM »

H-e
E-asly
L-ikes
L-ittle
R-aghead
A-ssholes
I-nside
S-hit
E-nlarged
R-ectums
« Last Edit: April 09, 2009, 07:34:40 PM by *MAFIA* Bonehead »
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*MAFIA* Manowar

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Re: joke spam
« Reply #74 on: April 15, 2009, 11:02:58 AM »

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice"
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't ! I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says,"$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here"
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again.
 
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